I am Pauline Hannah

e-mail dream on. i'm not stupid to give it to you. come again and ask nicely.

Age of bittersweet 16

Loves shopping
fashion
partying
disco dancing
being a drama queen


bakeries
museums
world wonders

corn muffins
chocolate muffins
banana walnut muffins
Auntie Annie's cinnamon sugar pretzels

painting
writing
reading thriller and romance
watching blockbusters
strumming my guitar
taking pictures
posing for the pictures
finding for scandals
making the scandals

daydreaming
living life the way it is.


Hates currently? perverts.

Wishes tour Europe: Italy! France, Greece, Portugal, Spain...
scholarship
camera
new guitar
keyboard
lady gaga fame monster album
adam lambert album
driver's license
classy trenchcoat for Canada
white loafers
forever 21 grey boots
cache black leather jacket
an organiser
a masquerade party
ice-skate, ski, kungfu
for people to be more morally upright, then i think the world would be a better place, really. HALT selfishness

i'm taking a break now.

i mean, come on, i just typed out my ss essay. it's really really long. about transnational terrorism.

====================================================================================

lately there's a drastic change of weather. last week was scorching hot, and this week is chilly.

probably that's why i have a slight cold.

either that or victor passed the illness to me T.T

====================================================================================

bye bye to my social life. from next week onwards, everyday there are remedial lessons. so, on the average, school ends at around 5 pm.

8am to 5 pm= 9 hours of schooling.

that's more than my sleeping hours, dammit.

and that means less time to relax.

man, i can't wait for Os to be over. i swear when it does, i'll do crazy things. and let all the knowledge disappear from my brain.

except sexual contraceptive methods. at least, that's what miss alexis lim said today during bio lesson.

"you can forget everything about bio...EXCEPT this chapter! [sexual reproduction in humans] because it's important. you need to know these things when you grow up."

LOL.

rushed to guitar lesson. and i went shopping after that! :D

====================================================================================

this afternoon, i was having a snack (chocolate muffin. again.) when i told my mom, "did you know Barack Obama's left-handed?"

"well, left-handed people make good leaders."

"is it because left handed people are in tune with the right side of their brain, making them more intelligent and creative or something?"

"of course. whatever you said...i'm left-handed too!"

my sis: HAH? no luh. you're right handed!

turns out, my mom can write equally well on the left AND right. she's born a left-hander, but her mum trained her to write with her right.

she's ambidextrous apparently. that's why my bro's got her left-hander genes.

me and my sis are righties.

me: so that means...? lefties have some kind of special ability, is it?

my dad (who's a rightie): yeah they do! they can write with their left hand!

haha. hilarious. and lame.

President Barack Obama dances with his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama to ‘At Last’ at their first Inauguration ball on Inauguration day

*sighs dreamily*

do you see the way he stares into her eyes? he truly loves her. wow. amazing.

can you sense the magical moment?

maybe that's my mind wandering off again.

i just snatched this photo up from http://www.accesshollywood.com/tv-one

michelle obama might grace Vogue magazine cover! whoo. you go, First Lady!

bio lesson: sexual reproduction in plants.

"be carefull you don't handle the pollen," victor said. miss lim brought in a real live plant.

i knew he'd say something ridiculous, so i sighed. "what?"

"you know...you touch the pollen...then be careful if you go to the toilet...3 months later you find that you're pregnant and you'll give birth to... a flower."

knew it.

i rolled my eyes. it was a stupid attempt to make me laugh, but i laughed anyway.

and to think that i thought him as intelligent. a scholar. with that lame, nutty remark? i mean, what is his mental caliber anyway??

==================================================================================

xu tuo's another lame one. let me add, a sick one.

i went to school early for a drama meeting on wednesday morning.

and we read through the scripts...

and then mdm kuar left us alone to discuss the costumes.

xu tuo: "I KNOW I KNOW. the girls will wear...nothing."

i choked.

"and the guys would wear----"

i couldn't hear the rest, because pei shan shrieked, drowning out the remaining words.

"EWW! sick! i'll tell mdm kuar!"

ps did.

mdm kuar just looked at xu tuo coolly and said that she's gonna force him to wear one. on his head.

later i found out it was a condom.

i am tired.

i ran a few kilometres (for exercise!), did sit ups, push-ups and whatever ups.

and i still can't figure out my Social studies essay.

hm, which is a more severe consequence between the iraq and kuwait war? was it historical enemity or oil production? definitely not the dispute over territory? the bubiyan and warbah islands?

bloody hell. my brain's pounding. it really hurts.

and i've been researching for UN failures and frankly speaking- it's a lot.

i am so shocked about the um, sex scandals.

my eyes are weary scanning over wordy and dry articles, reports and lengthy paragraphs.

i'd rather read OMG news. celeb tabloids. it's more interesting.

and they have pleasant pictures.

the more i see starving, malnourished children, UN troops and all the bombings with terrorists, i swear i am going to throw up. with misery.

there isn't a cure for hate.

someone also please enlighten me on the ASEAN failures. please. i'm like, digging my grave here. WHY DOES OUR TEXTBOOK LACK THAT INFORMATION?? it would save us all of the trouble. really.






HEY you want something funny?

go here and read this person's blog!

very lame. and silly! and cute! haha.

http://dullestblog.com/






went to the airport to send mich off! :D






this week went by fine.

1. no sec threes!! they were off to camp! heh heh.

i don't hate them or have any grudges if that's what you're thinking- it's just that we have the whole canteen for ourselves.

less people= less queue= more choice of food stall= the faster we get our food=more time to slack= relax and not harried

2. sec 3 camp= some teachers gone away= what seems like a shorter time-table.

we had a maths and bio test and i think it wasn't that hard at all. manageable.

3. me, ps and grace went bubble tea 3 times.

ohmygod. so unhealthy. it's sinful but hey! i never said i was saintly in the first place.

4. excursion to marina barrage! (see previous post) i love excursions. because there are no lessons!!

5. my dear _______found happiness. yay!!

6. no chinese remedial!!! it was cancelled!!

yeah. my favourite is number 6. haha.

=================================================================================

i was browsing through tabloids (yeah, you know me...) and guess what?

sarah jessica parker used to be an item with robert downey jr!

sex and the city actress with ironman?? :O

hohoho.

and have you ever wondered who was the sexy romantic guy in taylor swift's music video- "love story"?

justin gaston.

are all good looking guys always named justin? do you suppose? just like justin timberlake, i mean.

justin gaston is currently dating miley cyrus...4 year age gap. he's like, 20.

.
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omg get this. simon cowell had botox!

this just gets weirder and weirder.

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oh oh CHANNING TATUM IS ENGAGED TO HIS STEP-UP CO-STAR JENNA DEWAN!!

i am one year slow to know this.

so sweet. they look good together on-screen, since they are both hot dancers.

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ok. that is all.... haha.















i learnt what determines a good day from a bad one is your attitude.

i got that somewhere- you know, those inspirational phrases.

so today i decided i would have a good attitude. and my day turned out fine.

though i allowed myself to curse one time. just once. at home.

==============================================================================

this afternoon i went out with joe for lunch.

he was wearing his blue contacts! so cool. (secretly, i always wanted to have green eyes. i don't know why.)

ate at sakae sushi. joe was eating sushi.

"what's that?"

"salmon eggs."

omg. ew. sick. it's like, raw.

"OMG. it's like eating a baby salmon...inside!!"

"when you bite, it's like a cross between sweet and salty...."

i gasped. "you mean it's juicy?"

"yeah."

"it's like eating a human embryo when a baby's still inside! oh..."

joe swallowed.

"it's unfertilised."

oh. i'm so dumb.

haha. then went to the arcade. played time crisis till my arms were strained. (nevermind, pauline. workout.)

shot some basketball hoops and raced some cars.

after that i went home, planning to practice some A maths, but i ended up watching Bangkok Dangerous (Nicholas Cage) with my dad.

i wasted a lot of time. but the movie was nice!! in the end, the assasin (Nicholas) shot himself T.T

i hate sad endings!
.
.
.
.
.
.

and right now, i'm rushing through UN and ASEAN research....

(though i side-tracked a bit. i was reading celeb news. like when Ryan Seacrest got dissed by Angelina Jolie. yikes.)

========================================================================================

oh do you know that Australia is giving away a vacant position for anyone willing to just be an island caretaker?? :O

you get to live in a luxury home in Hamilton Island!! and all you have to do is blog about the island. you know, do some reports.

i WANT that job. so fun. it can help me get in touch with my nature side.

i mean, HELLO? luxury home. on an island.

you can...

1. get an awesome tan
2. HOTEL!!! (inclusive of spa. i checked.)
3. beach
4. fruit smoothies
5. nature!!!
6. feed fishes!
7. outdoorsy activities

why am i having my O levels this year again? please remind me.

The Priss Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLD) Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss. Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy. These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards. You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing. Your exact female opposite: The Playstation Random Gentle Sex Master Always avoid: The Playboy (RGSM), The Loverboy (RGLM) Consider: The Manchild (RBLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - dating services | Dating My profile name: : dangerina

"why are you frowning?"

what to say? mummy, i'm just bloody pissed off at a guy right now. you are right. better to be single. and oh yeah did i mention that i might consider to go to a poly, instead of a junior college?

actually, not really. i'm keeping my JC options open. and i'm sure the last sentence might finish her off.

she'd get a heart attack. compared to the guy news, the poly one is much much worse.

but of course, i didn't say that.

"had chinese remedial."

"and so?"

"uh, couldn't think what to write for my essay."

which is partially true.

and i think, Fridays sure hate me a lot.

====================================================================================
bad luck:

- got scolded by miss soh. we were late for SS class.

- our project work can't be opened because of the different powerpoint formats. shit. must re-do???

- i think i'm gonna fail my chinese test, even though i toiled through the paper, and put my mind into it, so much so, my brain was frying... sizzling, more like.

- chinese remedial

dammit to the 7th level of hell. i always don't know what to write for the essays.

after that, got frustrated-

wait, oh haha T.T under-statement of the year. not frustrated, i'm SO sorry. i meant, seething with white-hot rage.

i just asked a small question. because i needed help. desperately. you know, my chinese stinks like smelly gym socks.

"go find it in the dictionary! you think i'm there to help you?"

what KIND of response was that anyway? what is it now? LET'S-BE-MEAN day today?

and when i am already being VERY KINDLY ASSISTED (not sarcastic, by the way) by a kind soul, YOU wanna pitch in.

you even told her she's teaching me wrongly!

i totally trust her!

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.
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.
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"he isn't worth your tears."

"puh-leeze. i'm not gonna cry."

and later, after vowing not to, tears slid down the corners of my eyes.

i'm not sad. it was all angry tears. i looked up and thought, why does these crappy things happen to me anyway??

i'm not evil. i don't deserve bad things to happen to me most of the time. i study hard, i don't smoke, i don't take drugs.

but despite all this, i sometimes get the worst luck ever.

then i cried for the times i've been selfish, greedy, irresponsible, ignorant.

alright. so probably i deserve it.

AND, more bad luck...

- the bus i rode had a noisy engine.

it was whirring like mad. and i was trying to listen to my music! BOO!! i turned the volume up, but i couldn't hear much.

turns out, later when i alighted, i saw a metal wire dangling from the edge, scraping against the gravel road when the bus drove away.

so that was what's making the awful, loud noise. curse you evil metal wire! ruin my music!

went home and my mom hogged the com. she somehow caused it to lag. another bad luck.

=========================================================================================
so, pauline is a strong person. she won't let some stupid things ruin her day (actually, it already did.)

so i've come up with things to do when you're mad.

1. listen to rock songs. especially hard-rock. then you can scream out the words.

and make sure your feelings match certain lyrics. it feels more good that way.

mine today was: (sing along in an anguish tone)

so what?
I'm still a rock star!
I got my rock moves!
And I don't need you,
And guess what?!
I'm having more fun,
And now that were done,
I'm gonna show you tonight,
I'm alright!
I'm just fine!
And you're a tool!
So, so what?
.......

You weren't there,
You never were,
You want it all,
But that's not fair!
.
.
.
.
you let me faaaalllll......

it felt good. like sipping intoxicating wine.

please don't listen to sappy love songs. you'd cry and your tear glands might over-work.

i dunno. can you suffer from tear-gland infection or something? better not risk it.

2. READ.

a novel. not necessarily romance, but it was the first thing i reached for.

Nicholas Sparks's A Walk to Remember.

it's a great book. i'm not done with it yet, though.

it's about this boy, Landon Carter, who, had no date for the prom, so he decided to ask his church preacher's daughter, Jamie, out.

he's a rebel, while she's a goody two shoes.

he doesn't really like her. but somehow they ended up working together in a Christmas play and soon, he falls in love with her.

it's really romantic. let me pick a nice part...ok, here's an excerpt:

"Do you think i'm strange too?" she asked me.
.
.
.

I [Landon] put my finger beneath her chin, lifting her head up and making her look at me again. (pause. if a guy did this to me, i'd melt in a puddle *smiles wistfully*)

"you're a wonderful person, jamie. you're beautiful, you're kind, you're gentle. you're everything that i'd like to be. if people don't like you, or they think you're strange, then that's their problem...i love you, jamie. you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

i was crying. my shoulders started to shake and i sobbed.

i know, this is fantasy, it won't really happen, but when i read these kind of stuff, out there, there's always hope for the better. it teaches me not to be afraid to dream. and to want things. and to go get it.

but the sad thing was, jamie was dying. she's sick. she couldn't tell landon, but in the end, she did. and the guy cried. he couldn't sleep all night; couldn't focus in class. it's so depressing.

then, landon sat down -and the phrase that shook me to my soul: 'I prayed for a miracle.'

then i sobbed harder. i didn't want her to die. it's so cruel, to let jamie enter his life and then let death/sickness take her away from him. just when he fell in love at 17.

i wonder how many people out there are clinging onto their lives, while their loved ones can't do anything but pray. for a miracle. throwing all your energy into God's hands.

a 50/50 chance.

human emotions make us, but they also break us.

==========================================================================================
ok ok. i gotta do my work now. researching on ASEAN.

sigh.






was busy studying. it's the O year. yup, O levels.

12 jan:

release of sec 4 2008 O level results.

our school did pretty well; mrs ong was nice enough to give us a day off.

when they made the announcement, everyone was shrieking with excitement :D

the previous batch of sec 4/2 was...excellent. average L1R5 is 9 point something.

a single digit.

pressure pressure. the teachers probably expect us to continue the legacy of 4.2 brilliance.

ANWAR IS ONE OF THE TOP PUPILS!!!

me, ps and mich were screaming in support!!!

i didn't expect that.

that's coming from the same guy who painted over his rubriks cube.

and the same guy, in drama club, who acted as the little lamb while i was Mary.

you know. mary and her little lamb? anwar had to crawl on all fours, while liew yung and pei shan were the rainbow. HAHA!!

i miss my seniors!!

in the hall, there was a mixture of grief and happiness. some people were excited about their results, some weren't. they were disappointed....

after that, i went to drink bubble tea with grace and we talked about the many different kinds of fart.

(a) atomic bomb. (KA-BOOM!!)
(b) machine gun (tutt- tutt- tutt- tutt---)
(c) silent but deadly

we were laughing so hard, our stomach hurt xD

======================================================================================

13 jan:

went to grace's house to do SS project. ps and xin yun went along too.

while doing the powerpoint, we were also watching a korea drama at the same time.

HILARIOUS!! i forgot the title....

the guys in it are hot and romantic- ps and i were gushing at the screen. (OOOHHHs. AHHHHS. WOW!!! SO SWEET...) even xy looked interested.

after that, we had lunch at KFC and i went back to grace's house.

she taught me a piano piece.

and to tell you, my hands are pathetic. i can't co-ordinate both. unlike piano, guitar focuses on your left hand only. gah.

i wanted to study chem, but i ended up watching Pearl Harbor.

a sad romance story set in World War II

in the starting, i had my share of laughter, but when Japan dropped bombs in Pearl Harbor, many innocent lives were lost.

i thought about the mens' families. their wives- their children, who would grow up not knowing their fathers.

i saw blood. some bodies were cut open. some suffered from burns. i saw people trying to cling onto their lives.

"please...i don't want to die.."

omg. no. NO! grief welled up inside me, i choked, and tears poured. these people did not deserve to die!!

so there's these 2 men: Rafe and Danny. they are best friends and they are both in love with the same woman. they fought about it before, and during the war, just when a jap soldier was about to gun Rafe, Danny jumped forward and took the bullet for him.

"Danny you can't die!! no...you're going to be a father!"

i was so touched. to love your friend like a brother, and to sacrifice your life for him, and then water-works started again.

by the end of the movie, i was numb. and my eyes were red.

never take life for granted....

======================================================================================

14 jan:

i forgot.

oh, but i just remembered lessons ended late because our class stayed back for bio.

i fell asleep.

======================================================================================

15 jan (today):

PE: played ice and water.

haha! so childish. grace kept targeting me :(

LIT: err...normal lessons, i suppose....

ENGLISH: practice oral.

daniel was my examiner! you know, he's english is so good, i'd kinda thought his standard would be high (and that he might mark me strictly?) but he gave me a high score.

and on my paper, he wrote "confident".

oh man, i'm such a good actress. in actual fact i was shaking on the inside. i always get like this when i do oral exams. or presentation. i quake inside. but i don't let it show.

i felt i did pretty well. i faked the confident part, i actually believed i was confident! that's why i didn't have a mental block or something. i could think fast.

E MATHS: had a long talk with victor about erm, stuff. he's very experienced. he gives me, um, insights :D

CHEM: nearly fell asleep. there was a demonstration between Miss Nitrate and Mr Lead and Mr Magnesium! LOL.

nitrate divorced with lead to be with magnesium because Mg displaces Pb.

haha. paul, teri and tuck weng re-enacted the scene :)

======================================================================================

can't wait for O levels be over. Grr...






first day of school.

status: nervous. anxious. slightly upset (due to the waking up early part.)

i was scared i would board the bus late so i rushed in bathing, only to come out and look at the clock: 6.15am

that's early.

first person i said hi to was victor and daniel. it was drizzling, so i followed nuraishah, pin cheng and zhan hao to the classroom.

then there was an announcement to assemble in the parade square. so we had to move again.

mrs ong gave a speech on mr yong's retirement!

i will miss him. he teaches maths very well, that's why i always get an A!!

sat beside grace today. me, pc, grace and cuth chatted :D

after that, we had discipline talk and principal's speech.

sat crosslegged for so long, my muscles were cramping up!!!

the principal kept stressing to work hard and do well, and it makes me feel... jumpy. like the O's are just around the corner.

imagine. ten months i'd be sitting in the cold hall, scribbling a long SS essay. or something like that.

cruds. what if i forgot what i learnt? what if my mind goes blank???

that's why i'm gonna work hard. and work smart. and then later, when the exams are over, i vow to play harder.

i want to do well!! (who doesn't?) it's my education and it'll determine my future...

after recess, we changed seating arrangements. GRACE ENDED UP SITTING WITH PIN CHENG!!! AGAIN!!!

haha. like fate!

i was praying i would sit beside a friend.

i'm actually Miss Lucky. as in, by my luck, i get what i want. though i also have my fair share of crappy days.

and i sat beside victor!! :)

haha. mr. smarty pants!

miss lim made us set targets...and this is mine.

O LEVEL EXAM TARGETS.

english: A2*
e math: A1
a math: A1
chinese: B3*
chem: A1
phy: A1
bio: A1
combined humanities: A1*

*the ones i'm not really confident on. the target's too high.

for my english i expect to get at least a B3. not my usual b4.

chinese?? B3?? i got a B4 once. better buck up.

com hum...A1? actually i'd be happy if i get A2-B3...

i estimated....my L1R5 would be (my best) 6 points. that's my best. my worst would be... no more than 11.

.
.
.
.
.
.

this is gonna be hard!

anyway, vic was lame today.

miss lim asked whether the classroom needed adjustments, vic said to install an air-con. and a fridge.

T.T

but i like the fridge part. FOOD!! you know. food break after long hours of studying. that would help me a lot :)

victor, while you're at it, install a bed then T.T because you'd be always sleeping.

dismissal. CCA meeting.

there's CCA orientation tomorrow!! and i got guitar lessons in the morning!! xO

time-management. i need to rush to both places.

arh. so much for being the graduating batch. busy busy busy.

i can survive this.






ok. don't panic.

breathe. that's right.

darn. school's gonna start tomorrow.

i already packed my bag, but i don't feel ready.

i miss the holidays so much.

bye bye x box 360. i'll leave you sitting there collecting dust for a year.

===============================================================================

stayed up yesterday for the marina bay celebration countdown! :D

'3....2.....1..... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!'

my mom: what's your new years' resolution?

no one responded.

my mom slapped my dad's stomach.

my mom *to my dad*: your resolution would be to lose all these fats!!

she looked at her own stomach.

my mom: me too. haha! pauline?

i just kept quiet.

i thought about it. that would be...

1. stop lying
2. be obedient
3. to take more risks
4. do crazy things i have never done before
5. save money (and spend it later)
6. study hard for O's

.
.
.
.
.

and the list goes on.

my mom *to me*: i know yours!! heh heh. NUMBER ONE! you want a BF. NUMBER TWO! you want to slow dance with a boy. NUMBER THREE! you want to get your first kiss.

i am surprised. my own resolutions consists of nothing about the opposite sex. HAH!

i don't want a BF. and i already slow danced with a guy.

at the ASEAN prom last year. he was a very good, graceful, sexy dancer, and i don't even know his name.

whereas the kiss...no way. puh-leeze. i've had enough of boys for a year, thank you very much.

==================================================================================

this morning i helped my dad cook.

yes, my dad can cook. very well. he can also sew well, as my mom puts it.

whoa. she says next time i should get a guy like my dad T.T

that would be a small chance right? like, how many guys can cook, sew, play sports, play guitar, is a computer IT genius and very intelligent?? less than 1 percent.

anyway, i chopped veggies. (cauliflower is hard. and i don't know how to peel carrots.)

and my dad cooked.

when he opened the lid of the pot, a wonderful aroma escaped.

Mmmmm....

i love to cook. because cooking creates yummy dishes which makes your stomach happy.

yep.

i tasted it. delicious. i contributed!! XD

anyway, i'm gonna have a movie marathon now. Iron Man and StarDust.

ta-ta!

happy 2009!

i need all the luck i can get tomorrow. because of school.

[amanda] [ashwini] [berenice] [camille] [christina] [cuthbert] [daniel lim] [daniel liaw] [denijah] [fadhil] [grace] [guan zhong] [hui shan] [irfan] [jerrie] [jing jie]

[joel] [john] [jolin] [joseph] [joshua] [joyce] [kenny] [khoon hwa] [liang ying] [lynette] [mai] [michelle] [min zhuang] [moses] [noelyn] [pei shan] [rachael] [rachel yong]

[sabina] [sarah] [see voon] [shahirah] [shermaine] [si hui-cam's friend] [si hui senior] [sofia] [su fen] [sylvia] [teri] [tuck weng] [victor] [wen ya] [yi jun] [yiu ho] [zainal] [zoey]

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