Sunday, December 13, 2009
I've come back from Bintan.and I'm lazy to upload photos. sometime soon, or hopefully, sometime later. waaayyy later.hey, don't blame me. i didn't just battled raging fever (39 degrees celsius. so i don't joke when i tell people i'm hot. because i'm scorching.)i didn't just clutch to my lifeline, wheezing the hell through fitful sleeps.so all in all, i am fine.spent most days holed up here at home...nothing much to do except facebook, watch DVD or read my storybook.i re-read harry potter (and still loving it. JK Rowling's got real knack for storytelling) and have just immersed from my chilling thriller novel. kinda makes me wonder and think about all the psycopaths out there in the world, sexually mutiliating womens' bodies.and you think, pauline reads these shit?yeah. i do. i also read sappy romances and cry. but i'm uniquely half. i have a cynic side too.lately, my life just miserably drags on, like a piece of hunted animal dragged by the hair into the caveman's lair.ouch. rug burn.and everyday, closer and closer, the day my fingers will come in contact with my O level result slip.talk about nauseating. i have nightmares, i confess. who doesn't? I'd freak, i get scared, i break out into cold sweat, thinking, "that's it. life will spiral downwards once i fall short of my goals..."or maybe it's not the results. it's the BIG MOVE. i'd be lying if i said i wanted to integrate smoothly into canada. it isn't that simple.me, i'd probably kick up a big fuss and resist all the way.now or never people. it's there, my alternative route, in front of my like a tantalizing illusion, only hazy- unsure.why am i having weird thoughts? doubts?oopps. insanity kicking in.i want to get out. i NEED to get out. or rot here and die. i'm going out to watch new moon with lynette, and i pray that that may offer some sort of comfort.someone ask me out. anyone (well, except stalkers)??!! i will destruct, damage, die, decay and doom.and you better have a nice itinerary in mind or i'll take a gun and finish myself off.note to self: think about the perfect christmas presents for family and friends, but don't buy them. why bother when no one does, for me?
Stuffs I painted @ 5:25 PM
