Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010 started off terribly. horribly. nastily for me.i think i am a deluded soul- always believing in the best of people, until they take advantage of my compassion and patience and turn back around to push me into the pit of despair. a pit of pissed-off-ness, really. if it's not selfish people who only care about their own interests (oh, never mind me, i just have to move mountains to my own inconvenience to appease you), but stupid boys with warped minds.think i'm harsh to label? sorry, hon, someone wise taught me the world's a cruel place to live in.i am normally a very patient person. i don't have a short fuse- glad i take after my father. but when one steps onto my red danger zone, i lash out- that's after my mother.of course, not to worry, what you see is what you get. i could yell obscenities, if you're unlucky. minimal violence inflicted would be a slap or a punch, not serious enough to cause an injury. or i ball my fist up in a silent struggle. or i frown deeply. mostly, i let all my anger out, all my raw emotions- so much so that i have nothing to hide.and it's bloody scary isn't it? when you meet someone who is the total opposite of me. my mother warned me of quiet, reserved, aloof people, "pauline you never know what's their other side, what they're thinking about." the unknown. the very depths of the soul yet to be penetrated. like a misty fog, or a mask to fool people.so when i lash out, i am mad, naturally. it's normal.and if you knew my situation, i wouldn't blame you for having the same reaction.to summarise: 6 people pissed me off in the past 2 days.a selfish, cold hearted one.a freaking vulgar one.and four pervs.do i look like i'm some walking sex bomb ready to tick off and explode?my mother hissed at me after a train ride home, telling me that 3 guys in front of me holding the pole "feasted on my chest".if looks could kill, my mother delivered that effortlessly.fcuk. and all i did was stand in front of them, listening to my music.and what kind of friend offends my sexuality too? that's right. what friend indeed.boy, why you so obsessed with me?...finally found a girl you couldn't impresslast man on the earthstill couldn't get this.you're delusionalyou're delusionalboy you're losing your mind.am i tormenting and taunting you?that's the goal i want to achieve, hon.next time, don't try to get into my pants.or you'll get scalded in my hot steam.on a happier note, two boys with gracious manners showed respect to me. i feel comforted to know. thanks aaron and zhan hao (:
Stuffs I painted @ 6:14 PM
