Tuesday, January 12, 2010
the night of 10 jan 2010, i couldn't sleep.the anger fested inside me like poison. my heart pumped so fast, so wildly, the poison spread through my body as the blood rushed through my veins.toxic, of course. yet, i could not diffuse the boiling hot rage.i want to jump at his throat. scream, claw.i always thought i was intelligent- a true judgement of character. well, now's to say, i can never trust my mind anymore. or my heart.damn. it hurt. the brutal truth was like a person mocking, then delivering a cold hard slap across my face.i curled into a ball in bed and whispered comforting words to myself, hushing when my sister beside me stirred.=====================================================================i thought i handled it pretty well. after all, i plugged in to my playlist, blasted happy dance songs and pumping rock music to chase away my skittishness.WRONG. when i stepped back into school, it felt as though my music fell silent, and this time fear was loud. really loud.O level results. omg omg omg.my sister told me beforehand that our batch did well! (free holiday for everyone!) and the staff went on and on about the overall performance for each class per subject...my god. if i could die with suspense, it would have been then.they also flashed the top students on the screen. those scoring 9 A1s, no surprise coming from the China scholars.8 A1s. the names flashed and blurred.7 A1s. i ducked my head (people were blocking) and squinted. i caught kh's name. victor's...and a bunch of other people i couldn't care less...not now...where-?6 A1s.5 A1s. nothing. no pauline hannah.terror, not fear anymore, washed over me like one gigantic wave. i wish i could drown. "oh my god, i did horribly."peishan was clawing her bag. grace was whining.i was the first person in class to receive the results slip. mdm adamal moved slowly- first passing the yearbook, the JAE booklet and CCA certificate.miss lim flipped open a pink folded slip and passed it to me.AAAAAAABlike that. my eyes could be a train; it was moving so quickly and smoothly down the paper.i stared back at miss lim. at the desk. and the paper again.BLOODY HELL.i gave a short, loud scream and nearly fell backwards.omg omg omg. i can't believe it. i looked even more carefully now. delirious- in a state of a dream.i was gushing. i am so damned happy!peishan wenya and khoon hwa came to me. "how was it?" "how'd you do?"i couldn't hear them clearly, so i shove the paper in a daze and started clutching their arms.ARRHHH!!!! WOW!!!! YAYEEE!!!! OMIGOSH!!! AHHHHH!!!!!yeah, i was like that.soon everyone got their results and the majority were basking in bliss. mr yong help me rip off the envelope, some Form A thingy, because my brain couldn't work. something got caught in my gears.i am so happy for everyone. happiness is contagious. ps did well (she was dancing and chanting) wenya (calling home), mai (crying like mad), sherry (shrieking)....as a thank you and farewell gift, i passed folded paper hearts, jelly and chocolates to all my subject teachers.me, pincheng, grace, zhan hao, adele and aishah went bubble tea to celebrate our victory! :Dfunny, that's probably the last time i'm ever gonna see the nice friendly bubble tea shop auntie again...next month, i'm off for a new life.ps/ me and kh had a bet. loser would have to treat the winner. in the end, it was a draw! can you believe it?pps/michelle darling, everything will turn out right in the end. if it's not alright, then it's not the end!ppps/i love talking to lynette and wenya on the phone. heehee.
Stuffs I painted @ 5:10 PM
