Saturday, January 16, 2010
there goes any normal day for me. a normal saturday.usually, in the morning, my sis and i would go to guitar class.and then to tampines regional library to return our books.the predictable, uneventful weekday.the routine broke today, however, because it seems fate has some twisted sense of humor.=====================================================================i wasn't feeling very good- emotionally drained, so i sat by myself instead of the usual bus seat beside my sister.then he came in. he boarded the bus.after 5 years, of appearing and then disappearing from my life, he still managed to create a damned big impact on me.tall, dark (ok, tanned. somewhat) and handsome (literally!) like the past, only he looks better now, in the present. he wasn't buff, but the lanky-sexy sort of way. he wore casual- bermudas and a tee. but what caught my eye was his tousled black locks hidden in his cap; some of it escaped and dipped down his neck.and if it's not enough to make a girl, like me, weak in the knees, he has smoky eyes that talk.lynette told me she has a friend who really appreciates girls who can talk with their eyes. i thought it sounded stupid, but now, i totally don't blame him- lynette's friend, i mean. it's an awesome way to flirt. from mind reeling to hot-shot, hands down. electrifying.he walked down the aisle, radiating sensual aura *holds in drool* trying to find a seat. his eyes grazed on me. zeroed in. assessing. scorching hot. my body temperature spiked to 10 degrees celsius. recognition flashed...he raised his eyebrows. the corners of his mouth tilted up to a slight smile.the very same cocky grin. (that like, won many girls over)oh hell oh hell oh hell. i must be dreaming. that's it. i fell asleep on the bus again.with that thought fixed in mind, i blinked, hard, but he was still there. standing...then he sat down a few seats in front of me.i didn't realise there was so much pent up tension until i uncurled my toes and tried to steady my rapidly beating heart. i thought i was going to die.the bus seemed smaller. i knew he looked at me because i could feel it. the pressing, stifling heat.it was a curious glance. he even turned around to do so. shit. i couldn't breathe. and yes, i felt faint. (i am disgusted, actually. i mean, so whoozy??!! dang.)so i did the very thing any loser would do- look away, pretending not to notice. my mind was screaming "LOOK BACK AND SHOOT HIM A WINNING SMILE THAT'LL KNOCK HIM OFF HIS FEET!!"i can't. i felt weak and vulnerable. funny, i sorta liked it.i hummed to myself, more consolation. i looked blankly at the greenery that was blurred with the bus rumbling past.eventually, i got impatient at myself for not even responding, a teeny bit, so i looked at his back. this time, he was looking out the window; he had turned away. feeling slightly relaxed, i let my guard down but he whirled around slightly, so i was in his field of vision again. i felt so shy.after 5 years, would he still recognise me? would he remember...camp? when he nearly held me? infuriated me for the fun of it, then diffuse my theatrics with his husky voice and alluring eyes?F!$#^!$&%@* where did all these crazy thoughts come from??!!!sometimes, i am convinced my mother raised fools.it was a game. a game that made my hairs stand. i sidled over to my sister."he's here."she looked amused because i looked uncomfortable. i felt uncomfortable. he was still so good-looking, it wasn't fair.not that i'm ugly, but i wasn't very pretty back then, and probably was some insignificant girl in his life- like many others.so this scene's very much like a splash of cold water on the face. refreshing, shocking, and energetic. i think i was practically glowing. god, to see him again in the flesh...a little too late, actually. while i was buzzing on the inside, i alighted at my stop without a backward glance (yes, he was still staring at me, smiling his stupid, butterfly-in-the-stomach smile) and said a silent goodbye to my past.just sharing a story. after all, my happy endings never reached my hands, only ended up in the trash can.i whipped up lunch for my family, engrossed in cooking. forgetting everything, everything that happened years ago.
Stuffs I painted @ 7:57 PM
